tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999989077310877496.post4125114811045062020..comments2023-03-24T04:34:54.226-05:00Comments on An Unchosen's Truth: The Words for Today are.......Parental AlienationRachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07932285492374197593noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999989077310877496.post-91407738925812208522009-08-26T21:24:41.041-05:002009-08-26T21:24:41.041-05:00If anyone would like to use a portion or all of th...If anyone would like to use a portion or all of this post, please e mail for permission at dreamscandles@yahoo.com<br />I'm pretty easy going about this stuff as long as someone asks frist. Thanks!Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07932285492374197593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999989077310877496.post-31483373022627689032009-04-13T16:57:00.000-05:002009-04-13T16:57:00.000-05:00I`m an alienated father who has lost its two daugh...I`m an alienated father who has lost its two daughters. I`m writng a book on the subjetc because in Mexico there is no knowlage of PAS. I would like to use your letter.<BR/>Juan Carlos MartinRenta Tecamachalcohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02497556562098211072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999989077310877496.post-35850308564032670042008-07-10T01:41:00.000-05:002008-07-10T01:41:00.000-05:00I have to agree, thank you for using your voice to...I have to agree, thank you for using your voice to educate others. <BR/><BR/>Whether it's the female or the male parent alienating, "I" believe there is a serious dysfunctional personality disorder behind it.<BR/><BR/>I'm so happy that you were able to see through the B.S.<BR/><BR/>I am going to add this blog to my blog in a section labeled adult children of Parent Alienation. <BR/><BR/>I have other adults that were alienated as children that have also come forward to tell their story as adults. <BR/><BR/>I pray one day my children will see and understand what has happened to them. <BR/><BR/>I am an alienated mother, I feel my estranged husband would be diagnosed as a sociopath if any judge ever held him to an evaluation by a qualified Dr. <BR/><BR/>Thanks again..Zoeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00137007897874209945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999989077310877496.post-10847363066396265622008-07-09T20:39:00.000-05:002008-07-09T20:39:00.000-05:00What's unnerving about reading this is that it rem...What's unnerving about reading this is that it reminds me of a friend who was eventually Dx'd with Borderline Personality Disorder herself, but before that point, she'd often described her own mother and upbringing in similar terms (e.g. "Mommy Hitler") to what the author describes here. Please consider that if she had it, you may have it too, so get yourself evaluated if you haven't already.<BR/><BR/>I gather one manifestation of BPD is the tendency to lionize or demonize people; everyone they know is regarded as either an absolute Angel who can do no wrong or an utter Devil who can do no right, often for trivial or arbitrary "reasons", and there is no in-between. Was my friend's demonization of her mother an expression of my friend's BPD, or an accurate description of her mother's own BPD-influenced behavior? Both? Quite the vicious circle, if BPD runs in the family...<BR/><BR/>It gets better (worse). Another BPD symptom is what shrinks call "substitution of a non-present desired ideation in place of a present, non-desired non-ideation". I.e., if reality pales in comparison to a fantasy, or doesn't jibe with their angelic/demonic expectation of another person's behavior, they often can't tell which is which in retrospect or even in the very moment; they may "remember" something they wished had happened as if it really had happened, and forget what actually happened if it didn't match what they wanted or expected.<BR/><BR/>How much of what my friend -- and perhaps this article's author -- "remember" of their mothers' abusive behavior may actually be their own BPD-influenced exaggeration of the fact, perhaps amplifying behaviour that was already warped in actuality by the mother's own BPD to begin with? The circle gets ever more vicious when BPD runs in the family...<BR/><BR/>I stopped thinking of my ex-friend as a friend when she pretty much manipulated me and another friend of hers into a compromising situation contrived to benefit herself. That event drove me to realize and accept that not only could I never believe a single word she told me, I couldn't believe a single word she had <I>ever</I> told me, and I felt like such an utter fool to have been played for the entire time I knew her. It's not even that she lied deliberately nor willfully, but only because her brain had an inherently-tenuous grasp of reality and the truth in the first place, so she was incapable of being honest and realistic, except within her own fantasy-saturated version of reality.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999989077310877496.post-33235310616635202902008-07-09T19:41:00.000-05:002008-07-09T19:41:00.000-05:00I got that same kind of brainwashing during my par...I got that same kind of brainwashing during my parent's divorce. My mom alienated me from my father and made it clear I wasn't to accept him or his new wife. When I rejected him, he responded by rejecting me and my brother. Then they both kind of moved on to other relationships, as adults do. Except my brother and I never really did. I feel like we didn't really survive their divorce.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999989077310877496.post-79042993560437612702008-07-07T22:44:00.000-05:002008-07-07T22:44:00.000-05:00Reading your post was at the same time heart-wrenc...Reading your post was at the same time heart-wrenching and uplifting. I am stepmother to a loving, bright, charming 9 yr old pixie whose bio-mom could've written the book on PAS. In the 6 yrs I've been in this little girls life, I've witnessed so much evidence it shocks even me. Age 3 -she got into her fathers vehicle on visitation saying "why won't you give us any money daddy?" (dad was paying $2700 a month child support at the time), age 5 - singing a song with the refrain "my dad's gone crazy, maybe he should kill himself", age 6 - she greets her father with; "mummy says we're going to have to move to England if you won't pay more child support" (cs was up to $3100 a month at this point. <BR/><BR/>It's always something designed to break my husbands heart, and it rarely fails to succeed. My one hope is that some day, my stepdaughter comes to know the truth about her mother and her manipulations, and about her father and how very, very much he loves her. <BR/><BR/>It's such a pity that more judges and Family Court Advisors (including ours) refuse to acknowledge the existance and danger of PAS. I'm living it firsthand and it's absolutely crushing. <BR/><BR/>God bless you for writing about your struggle with Parental Alienation Syndrome. <BR/><BR/>LolaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999989077310877496.post-61761719917342038862008-07-05T07:26:00.000-05:002008-07-05T07:26:00.000-05:00I am married to such a hero and I thank you for wr...I am married to such a hero and I thank you for writing this! I will print it and keep it for the day that his children come home to him so that they will know they weren't alone! Bless you for writing this!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999989077310877496.post-27737750671396193752008-07-04T12:07:00.000-05:002008-07-04T12:07:00.000-05:00I'm sorry this happened to you, but thank you for ...I'm sorry this happened to you, but thank you for writing about it. This behavior is one of the invisible sins of our age.John Doehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05326982429461344063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999989077310877496.post-89456522109874827972008-07-04T08:56:00.000-05:002008-07-04T08:56:00.000-05:00Here's hoping my son's daughters are able to survi...Here's hoping my son's daughters are able to survive their experience with their mother as well as you have.Jim Hueglinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03617920105801420706noreply@blogger.com